Don and I were talking the other day and he said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you seem miserable.”
“Who are you calling miserable, what do you know?”
After a moment of shock with a dash of anger, I sat in silence for a minute. I’ve known Don going over 40 years and he doesn’t throw around statements like this carelessly.
“You still there?” he said.
“I’m thinking. I don’t want to be reactionary. Am I miserable?”
I sat there for a minute to give me time to process.
This conversation was in the context of us putting together our plan for 2022. Near the end of the call, Don said “I just want you to be happy.”
After we hung up, I texted my friend Michael: “Do I seem miserable to you?”
“Miserable is a strong word, but you definitely don’t seem as upbeat as usual.”
It was confirmed. Regardless of if I meet the dictionary definition of ‘miserable,’ it was clear that something was going on.
I started taking an inventory. Since the pandemic, I have had quite a few challenges that I’ve shared publicly. I’ll resist the urge to list them here because that’s not the point.
The point is that Don is right – I’ve allowed my circumstance and challenges strip much of my happiness away. I didn’t even realize it was happening.
Usually when I write a post like this I feel obligated to try and solve things in four easy steps. Or I find an inspirational quote about grit.
This time I want to say that I’m thankful for a good friend. A friend that had the courage to tell me an uncomfortable truth.
Funny thing about happiness. It’s not a light switch. You can’t turn it on and off at will. It’s a byproduct of living life in harmony with the things that bring you satisfaction, joy and awe.
I’m going to take an audit of how I’m spending my time and what things are adding to my life and what things are detracting. I’m going to find some simple things and start with some small changes immediately.
I’ve already started since my talk with Don. I went up to my place on the river on Sunday. It was cool and crisp. The salmon were running in the creek by my place. I had never seen that in person before, and it was so interesting to watch. The sun lit up the snowcapped mountains like jewels. I made a campfire and listened to some music that I love. It was a good day.
Even though it was difficult to hear that I seem miserable, I’m grateful to have a friend who knows me well enough to see the signs.
If things have been feeling off for you too, let this be a nudge. This has been a difficult year. This is a challenging time. Also, there are things and places and people that make you happier. Lean into that.
I want you to be happy too.
-Ron
Ron Upshaw is a Licensed Agent at
Windermere Real Estate Midtown
1920 North 34th Street
Seattle, WA 98103
Ron Upshaw
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19 thoughts on ““You seem miserable” and other things to be thankful for…”
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I recently have lost the spark also, even though I have much to be actually grateful for. It’s the times. Even Dan Rather recently wrote a column about how depleted we are in our spirits. My only hope is that doing the work, as you will obviously do, and I and others will do, will lead us to a place of stronger great spirits.
You have your happy place for sure. This too will pass. Happy holidays!!
Thank you so much Ron, I to can relate that what you are feeling. I pray blessing and happiness find you.
Thank you, Ron!!
I’ve been I’ll since April and it seems I’ve lost my usual spirit. Your article made me realize that there are things around me that I can be thankful for. A good friend suggested I get a cat because I lost my precious kitty last year. It was a luxury I really couldn’t afford but she bought everything I would need and helped me find the perfect cat for me. I can tell you it made all the difference in the world to me to have such a good friend and the perfect cat (his name is Cricket)! I’m old and was really ready to just give up and if it wasn’t for my friend knowing what would give me joy again, I might have. It’s good to have a friend like Don and my friend to see us!
Have a very happy holiday, Ron!
Ellen Drummond
A really TRUE friend🤩.
These two years have tested so many of us, and you are so blessed to have Don as a friend. My Mantra is one day at a time. If not so good today, tomorrow will be better🙏
Namaste’
Marna
Thanks so much for sharing this, Ron.
2020 was rough, for sure…2021 has been brutal in many unexpected ways. In fact, I can’t believe the year is almost at a close, I barely had time to sit in it with all of the swamping challenges. But I also made changes to things inside the challenges. Let go of a lot of stuff, of things, of dry dreams, of belief systems, of social dogmas, of dead relationships that only continued to exist because I wanted them to. So the challenges that ate up this year were good ones. Not easy ones, but good.
And I came across as largely miserable to people.
I’m working on that. I’m working on grounding in the moments of new authenticity that are growing in the space I cleared out. And I’m working on keeping space open.
You’ve got a solid friend there who cares for you the way that you care for him.
We all just want for you to be happy.
Thanks for sharing your vulnerability with us.
Thank you for sharing this. It made me think. It has been a tough time. I do need to make some changes to be happier.
Bless you and your friend. You have a rare and loving relationship.
Love and light Ron
Ron ~ it’s great that you have such a friend and even better, that you allowed yourself the time to be open to the words and take them in. I’m happy you are finding what brings you happiness and joy. You have given so much to me over the years with the radio show, other messages that you post and for sure – your Instagram pics. I love going in walks & traveling with you via Instagram. I hope both you and Don have a wonderful holiday!!
Ron,
Thank you for your thoughts and gentle nudge. I needed this.
You are not alone in this journey of life thanks for your voice on this.
I’m definitely feeling bummed, pissed off, angry at the current state of our region, etc. My head isn’t right.
Ron,
I hope a simple word like thank you is enough
I’ve missed hearing you guys. Lived in Seattle my whole 55 years almost. Recently moved to Oklahoma and yes, this year and a half has been challenging. One big reason we moved so far away and left our grown kids and grandchildren. We still needed to work and Oklahoma allowed us that opportunity. We miss the Northwest beautiful scenery. Thank you for sharing this Ron, god must have wanted me to open this message today. Appreciate you. Onward and upward to joy!
Thank you for sharing! I struggle to articulate my thoughts, your words mean a lot. It is the simple activities that
Brings us the most peace.
What an important message. Thank you for sharing. You have probably saved many people with your honesty. The past couple of years have been extremely hard and it continues. Let’s all make sure we are connecting with our friends and loved ones.
Thank you Ron.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Ron. So many people are hurting right now – so important to acknowledge misery and pain, not hide it, I believe.
This has been a crazy and difficult year for our family, in a number of ways.
Wishing you serenity and peace!
Hello Ron,
I’ve read through all the comments and want to echo every word and all the love that’s pouring out to you. I have praise for Don, for being the best friend EVER, asking a hard question, and for you, for being ready and willing to start the journey back to happiness. Taking one step at a time, I know you’ll rediscover your joy! Do you have any thoughts about sharing your journey?
I’ve loved listening to you and Don since you arrived in Seattle and I’m very grateful you stayed here! You’ve shared your lives, loves, laughter and sadness with the Nation and have made us all feel like lifetime personal friends! .
Hello Ron,
I’ve read through all the comments and want to echo every word and all the love that’s pouring out to you. I have praise for Don, for being the best friend EVER, asking a hard question, and for you, for being ready and willing to start the journey back to happiness. Taking one step at a time, I know you’ll rediscover your joy!
Do you have any thoughts about sharing your journey?
I’ve loved listening to you and Don since you arrived in Seattle and I’m very grateful you stayed here! You’ve shared your lives, loves, laughter and sadness with the Nation and have made us all feel like lifetime personal friends! .
Hello! Quick question that’s totally off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My blog looks weird when browsing from my apple iphone. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to resolve this problem. If you have any suggestions, please share. Thank you!
Yes, the correct theme update should do the trick.
If not, you might need to change themes…